


I Need No Sympathy

by Anonymous6285



Series: Bohemian Rhapsody [8]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: And he thinks it’s his fault, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Poor Brian and Roger, Roger is scared, Texting and Driving, To be fair though they fell off a cliff, Wetting, and Brian is scared too, aww I feel bad now, car crash, cliffs, dangerous driving, im sorry, roger shit himself, sorry Rog :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 01:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18305540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous6285/pseuds/Anonymous6285
Summary: Roger and Brian accidentally drive off of a cliff because of icy roads and get stuck on two trees.





	I Need No Sympathy

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this because of all the times I’ve been coming back from snowboarding on mount hood and my dad pretends to be asleep or something else when we’re by the edge and scares us all. Oof. 
> 
> Also I haven’t posted anything in this series in a while. Sorry. I’m working on it :)

“Roger, you need to focus on the road.” Brian growled as Roger once again looked down at his phone on the mountain road they were on. 

“I’m fine, Bri. I know how to drive.” 

“Roger Meddows Taylor, put your phone down right now. The roads are icy, and we’re driving on the side of a mountain.”

“No, Brian. I’m driving. And you need to mind your own business.”

Brian hid his face in his hands. “Oh, my god. If you were gonna stare at your phone the entire time, you could’ve let me drive.”

“I’m perfectly capable.” Brian squinted and grabbed for Roger’s phone. The blond was quick to retaliate. He reached again for it, letting go of the steering wheel. 

“Roger! Keep driving!”

“Give me my phone back!”

“Drive!”

“ROGER!!” Roger turned to look out the windshield to see that they were heading for the edge. He grabbed the steering wheel and pressed on the brake. “DON’T BRAKE!!” Roger turned the wheel to the right, causing the car to spin around on the ice. 

“Ohnononononononono!!” It stopped on the edge, two wheels over. “Brian, don’t move a muscle.”

“I think… I think I’m gonna sneeze.”

“Oh, god. Please don’t.”

Brian felt the tickle in his nose grow stronger and stronger until he took a deep breath. Roger cringed. 

“Brian, don’t you dare.” Brian’s sneeze wracked his body with enough force that the car started to lean forward. They were greeted with the view of the rocky mountainside below them for a split second before….

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!” 

The car fell, crashing into rocks and trees as it got closer and closer to the ground below them. 

“Brian, we’re gonna die! We’re gonna die!! Oh, god, Brian. I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault!!” They continued screaming and closed their eyes until the car stopped. They both cautiously opened their eyes to see two trees that were holding up their car. Just barely. 

“I don’t like this very much.”

“Bri, I just shit my pants.” 

“I think we may have bigger problems.” Brian pointed to the tree outside cracking just slightly. “We can’t move or that will definitely break.”

“We’re gonna die. I’m gonna die having shit my pants. And you’re gonna die because of me. I’m sorry.”

“We won’t die. We can call somebody.” Brian felt around for his phone, but stopped suddenly. 

“What? What’s the matter?”

“My phone is in my bag.” Roger pointed to the dashboard, where his phone, now cracked, was. “No. In case you haven’t noticed, we’re facing down, and if you try to get it, things aren’t going to go so well.”

Roger ignored him and leant forward, reaching out his hand to grab his phone. Brian closed his eyes and covered his face. 

“Got it!”

“Do we even have service?”

“I think. What’s the emergency number here?”

“911, Rog.” Roger dialled the number, and Brian inwardly cursed his bladder. He had to pee. Why now?

“911, what’s your emergency?” Speakerphone. 

“Er, me and my friend were driving on… where are we, Bri?”

“We were driving on Mount Hood, and my friend was on his phone, and we went off the edge.”

“You stole my phone! I would have been fine.”

“Well, we’re currently being held up by these trees but they’re cracking.”

Roger sniffled. “I’m scared, Brian.”

“Please remain calm and make sure you don’t move. Any movement could put more pressure on the trees. We’ll send helicopter rescue.”

“Thank you,” Brian said awkwardly. “We’ll go now.”

“If anything changes, call again. We need to make sure you’re doing alright.”

“Okay.”

Roger hung up and looked over to Brian, tears in his eyes. “I’m so scared. What if they don’t get here in time?”

“Roger, it’s gonna be fine.” They were both quiet a bit before Brian spoke. 

“It’s not a good time to say I have to go to the bathroom, is it?”

“Not particularly.”

“Well, I have to go to the bathroom. Quite bad, actually.” Roger didn’t respond. “Should we call Freddie or John?” 

“Yeah.”

Roger called Freddie, and for the next few minutes, his phone was still ringing. 

“Dammit. Answer, Freddie.”

He did. “Sorry it took so long, darling. I didn’t hear it ringing until Deacy told me it was.”

“Hey, Deacy.”

“Hello.”

“What’s up? Why’d you call?”

“We’re about to die, and we wanted to say goodbye.”

“Shut up, Roger. We’re not gonna die. They’ll find us.”

“Who? Find you? What?”

“Roger wouldn’t stop looking at his phone while we were driving down Mount Hood.”

“And then Brian grabbed it out of my hand.”

“And then this dumbass decided to stop driving. And we went off the edge.”

“And we were teetering on the edge, but Brian just had to sneeze.”

“So we fell, and we’re being held up by two trees.”

“And I shit myself.”

“And I’m about to piss myself.”

Silence. “That… was a lot. You’re joking, right?” Brian and Roger laughed a little. 

“I wish.”

“Oh, my god! Is everything okay? Did you already call 911?”

“Yes, of course.” And then Roger started crying. Brian looked over at him. 

“You okay?” Roger shook his head.

“Were gonna die, Brian. And it really is my fault. If I had just put my stupid phone down when you told me to, we wouldn’t be here.”

“Oh, Rog, don't blame this on yourself. We’re gonna be fine. In five years, this will be ‘that one time Brian and Roger drove off a cliff’ and nothing more. Okay?”

“Brian, look at this situation. I mean, our car just tumbled off of a mountain, we’re both perfectly fine, and we happened to land on these two trees perfectly so that we didn’t fall. What are the chances of that? Do you know how horribly this could have gone? And it would have been my fault.”

“Roger, stop! Nothing worse happened, okay?! And nothing is your fault! Now, I don’t know about you, but I have no doubt that they will find us. The biggest of my worries right now is how long my pants will stay this dry.” Roger smiled a bit. 

“Wanna bet?” 

“Too late.” Brian sighed as his pants darkened. “God, that feels so good. And stop crying or else I’m gonna start. And I’m not in the mood for tears.”

“I’m sorry.”

“And I’m sorry, too. Are we done now?”

Roger nodded. “Do you wanna stay on the phone with us until they get there?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“I’m really scared, Bri,” Roger whined, trying his best not to cry. 

“Me, too. I would hug you right now, but, er, ya know.” Roger nodded and let a few tears out. 

“You guys will be fine. I know you will. And I’ll even make a cake for you. How does that sound?”

“Sounds great, Deacy. I’m going to check my email now.” Roger started staring at his phone, and Brian rolled his eyes. 

“You need to stop being so obsessed with your phone, Rog. Look what it got us into.” 

“Shut up.”


End file.
